monkey house

yes i do watch project runway among other such reality shows that cater to the creative existance within...however entertaining they are, once segregated from the given context, they can truly give some larger perpherial advice. one such episode, had Tim tell a designer about monkey house. He said that sometimes we step into a monkey house and are over whelmed with the stink...however if we stick around, we kind of get used to it and if we live there, we dont think it stinks at all...

if we look within our lives, we could possibly have many such monkey houses, relationships, careers and sometimes and mostly our own inherent flaws. It is only wise then to step outside for fresh air and realise how bad it really is. i wonder if my relationship was a monkey house, i know for sure that my job was...sometimes our decisions can be a monkey house and just because we have lived with that decision, it becomes livable when it just stinks.

ever have it all?

red, thats what im wearing tonight, sitting in my room , waiting for the phone call, ready to go. so much can change in moments. tonight, the family unites to give away our lil girl. she is much younger than me and our journey together has had its ups and downs, however, we we have been together, hating or loving each other and today as i wait to give her away, as the older sis, so many thoughts run through me. i dont know when we will watch a movie together, gossip, exchange makeup tips, do all the girly fun things. it also pushes me to think about building new relationships and making them wonderful. as i feel happy for her, i do feel a pinch in my heart remembering someone...everything in life is give and take and you can never have it all...