love is a losing game

i love the new video by amy winehouse - tears dry on their own, so true...they really do. i also came across the lyrics of her another hit, thought i would share:

For you I was the flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
MOre than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Self professed and profound
Tilter tips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a loosing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

gym dreams

what to do? i had no idea a squigly lil gall bladder can cause me so much emotional angst! apparently the homeopathic meds i have been taking have ensured a sudden "flab gain"! and i am devastated! waking up was like a nightmare, my pyjamas had shrunk! anyways, like someone i know says - just do damage control, i decided to hit the gym! i checked out the cool gym last evening, it has a DJ playing!!! is that cool or what! and while i pump the cardio on the treadmill, i can have an eyeful of the fish in the swimming pool...you know what i mean...lol well, like everything else i have a goal, i wanna work it out till i am as fit as these guys in this video, i really wanna be able to do that! enjoy!

god has left the ground to circle the earth

this morning, while i was nursing a glum mood, i asked a very dear friend to cheer me up, he sent me this link on youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLNyVLbqdEg&feature=related

A boy with a coin he found in the weeds
With bullets and pages of trade magazines
Close to a car that flipped on the turn
When God left the ground to circle the world

A girl with a bird she found in the snow
Then flew up her gown and that’s how she knows
If God made her eyes for crying at birth
Then left the ground to circle the earth

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish he tossed in the sea
Walked to a town that all of us burn
When God left the ground to circle the world

many have debated the meaning of this song, to me it is a story, of hope, wishes and life. life as it is, the real thing, tough, unfair, un reasonable, yet it makes us want to live. somedays i too feel like this- as if god has left the ground to circle the world. cheers

delhi scums

i have sampled enough books on the gender divide and i have licked through pages defining the DNA of this gulf and the benefits of working around them, i have studied human behavior and how the ecology affects it, yet, im astounded by the average man in my city - Delhi. do not get me wrong, i love my city, born here, brought up here, have traveled half the world to get back, my best of friends are here, and i have many a crushes on some of the cutest Delhi men, but the masses, they shock me, unnerve me and make me feel like running away.

as a delhi girl, one would expect me to be completely immune to the regular chagrin of this frustrated lot, eve teasing now elicits almost no reaction, college did grow me up, having witnessed at least 3 incidents of men flashing in a week, and no there was nothing much to admire, what really gets to me is the lack of respect. an average Delhi man has no respect for a woman, it is a decision i have arrived at, it starts by the guard who opens the door, the moment he sees the woman driver, his attitude changes, he believes only half the gate is sufficient for us, or the guy driving the car behind me, the moment he whiffs that i am a woman, his ego is crashed and converts him into a Schumacher! he has to over take me or else he may have to cut his manhood off!

its appalling how many times i have had to yell just to be heard that the man yelling at me should talk to me in a decent tone and manner for me to respond, the parking guy, to the mail guy...they ring the bell and on seeing a woman, they suddenly feel superior!

i have been a victim of sexual harassment at work and it was traumatic, and if i ever believed that it would end with that organisation, i was in for a rude shock, its impossible not to be harassed, its every where, its just dormant and comes alive at a least of provocation. im told n number of times that a strong attractive woman makes a man insecure, that’s just not the complete truth, its the category of men that matters not the attractiveness of the woman, its how they are brought up, its what they witness in their home.

a friend recently asked me what can we do as a society to make women feel better, i told him change men, their mindset, teach them respect and we will be happy.

i wish they would see that they don’t have to be threatened, they only have to believe in themselves and it can be a happy place, till then, watch out disrespecting wriggling scum, i don’t forgive easy...

life - the one in your hands

Haven’t written in a long time…been busy finishing work, nursing my dehydration and dreaming of a better life…have I shared about the time, actually a moment, sitting in a fancy car, somewhere in the slums of Mumbai, I realized I had many reasons to be happy, and the people outside my car( see how small my world seemed, as big as a car), yet they looked far happier than me. Why does it take so little to be unhappy and just so much to be otherwise? I sat there making a list in my mind of everything I have and will always, and realized I had everything I could need and want, I have everything I need to be happy.

I speak to myself, im sure many of us to do the same, and ever so often I slip into self pity, “I wish…” list and then I see or experience something that makes me so grateful. I indulge in the paradigm of heaven on earth, forgetting that nothing in life is continuous except for life itself…nothing is forever, not this moment, this thought, not this feeling, deed, nothing lasts, everything has a deadline, and yet its there in full glory, like a flower, blooming before it wilts…what is gorgeous about life is its will to exist despite the challenges, to live, breathe, exist, love, despite everything that stands to extinguish it, that’s life and like Dr Peck puts it “life is difficult, life is complex.” Buts its so worth living…

i guess it is true, life is truly in your hands, what you make of it, how you let it fly, depends on your attitude, your will and your outlook and always remember, we all slip, we all go down that path reserved for self pity and sometimes loathing, and thats just fine as long as you surface from it, wiser and stronger.

Here is to life, the one we live and the one we want to live.